Think Immigration: Four Simple Words - How Are You Doing?

Two days after the presidential election, the AILA New England Chapter held its annual conference in downtown Boston. Leading up to the conference, the Chapter’s Conference Committee, Executive Committee, and panelists prepared for either outcome in the presidential elections. With Trump’s decisive win, we wondered how to support attendees, given the sea change on immigration policy expected from an incoming Trump Administration.

Unlike past conferences, we offered a welcome reception the night before the conference. The reception set the tone for the rest of the conference. The reception offered attendees a few reminders: we each have our own individual way and timeline to process emotions and reactions; take each day one day at a time; you are not alone; and when you are ready, channel your emotions to action. I saw how attendees were checking in with each other: “How are you doing?” Four simple words, sometimes accompanied by a hug or a hand extended to another’s arm.

Asking a colleague how they are doing can brighten their day, provide validation, or offer support. I saw my colleagues opening the door to connection and empathy. Right now, it is critical to support each other, carve out time for self-care, and prepare mentally for the challenges that will come under the next presidential administration and the hard work associated with the work ahead.

As attorneys, we naturally get caught up in the stress of our work.  In a meeting with our legal teams, we may dive right into business. But when we check in with each other, we are also checking in with ourselves. It a two-way street.  When we pause, we become humans again.

My grandfather, a Japanese farmer who moved his young family from Nagasaki to Osaka to open a little noodle shop, eventually became a professional chef in Ashiya, an oceanside city full of renowned restaurants.  In his “retirement,” he eventually became a shiatsu therapist in Nara.  He was an energetic person who exuded warmth and care. I remember when I used to accompany him to the market, or his morning hikes up the Rokko mountain, or welcoming his clients, he took the time to extend a warm greeting to everyone around him.

In Japan, it’s rare to directly ask “how are you doing?” as a standard greeting – greetings are more contextual. When he visited us in the United States, he loved waving his hand and asking everyone “how are you doing?” even to strangers on his morning walks. At breakfast, he would excitedly describe all the people who positively responded to his cheerful greeting that he peppered on to dog walkers, children on their way to school, and commuters running to the train station. He loved that, despite a language barrier, he could still share his joy of a beautiful morning by connecting with other humans.

Everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about. I don’t know who originally coined that statement, but it is helpful. Your colleague may be struggling with an aging parent, coming to terms with a cancer diagnosis in their family, combatting their own health issues, missing sleep due to their precious newborn, or juggling kids’ hectic extracurricular schedules with their legal practice. Taking the extra time to check in on a colleague and extend empathy strengthens professional relationships and helps deepen a sense of community, something that is needed especially now.

Next time you see a colleague, take a moment to ask those four words or make the extra time to chat with the new attorney attending an AILA chapter meeting for the first time. It will make all the difference.

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