Think Immigration: Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien – The Art of Handling Misplaced Anger
“And so, what did you do wrong?” The client on the phone wanted to know why USCIS had rejected their H-1B petition for incorrect filing fees soon after the April 1st fee increase.
I paused, collecting my thoughts, telling myself to remember that it was not about me. No, this was them. They…were finding it hard to understand and accept an exceedingly inconvenient situation and did not have the excellent experience that comes from three decades of dealing with USCIS.
Come to think of it, I do not believe anyone can be completely prepared to manage the myriad situations that USCIS throws at us practitioners every day. Fellow practitioners can relate, I’m sure, that it seems as though “Murphy’s Law” should have been taught in our immigration law courses.
- The Client Has a Bigger Problem Than Your Ego. So, Focus.
What I do not recommend in this situation is being defensive or rationalizing the situation with an explanation of USCIS policies and procedures. This is never about appearing knowledgeable and being in command of the situation. Most importantly, continue breathing. - Calming Mind, Calming Words, Calming Effect
Approach the situation with a calm mind. If you appear agitated or let the client rattle your cage, you are in for an emotional roller coaster. Instead, first calm your mind. Breathe. Smile and then start with calming words which may go something like this…This is very frustrating, I know. We deal with this situation every day. Let me reassure you that we are absolutely committed to making this right for you. The minute I heard, I personally reviewed our internal procedure to ensure that we did not do anything wrong, and we did not.
Pause to allow the client to come back and say whatever they wish to convey. Usually, at this point the client has begun to calm down and starts to talk about the demanding situation and how they are coping with this incident. Reassuring the client that they have your full and undivided attention helps. - Offer Solutions and Alternatives, but Remember to Follow Through
Offer the client real solutions based on your experience. In this situation, I’d explain for the client’s benefit the entire refiling process. We all know it can take weeks to receive a rejection and the forms may have undergone changes. Explain that you’ll be going over the forms to ensure that the version is consistent and will seek fresh signatures if required.
Given that so many situations result in multiple rejections, make sure the client understands that may be the case. - Countering the “So Called” Second Opinion
Before coming to you, a desperate client may reach out to practitioners online. There are “free” online forums that offer clients instant generic responses. Frustratingly, they make things more complicated when dealing with specific situations. For instance, one client insisted that calling USCIS and speaking with a representative was the best way to resolve a certain matter. This sort of half knowledge is both dangerous and hard to counter. In such situations it is better to use a compromise. For instance, you could say, we could certainly try, but nine times out of ten, in our experience, this may not work. Using truth and compromise may be the best way to counter a misinformed client. While this may not work all the time, it is worth a shot. - Rules of Engagement and Setting Boundaries
While the outlined approach may work in most instances, I certainly understand that it may not work in every situation. However, being calm and understanding with the client is still the best approach. If you feel that you aren’t in a state of mind to take on this challenging situation, ask the client to set up a time to discuss options to give yourself some breathing room.
As the Serenity prayer, a mantra I return to almost daily, reminds us that there are things we cannot change and those we can; the wisdom is in knowing the difference.
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The blog post title pulls from Edith Piaf’s memorable song “No, I regret nothing” composed by Charles Dumont with lyrics from Michel Vaucaire.
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